Push and Pull

Damn it.  Even when it seems like it's turning, it keeps turning and comes back full circle.  I just keep coming to the same conclusions.  A big part of it is my job.  I think that's got to change.  I no longer feel capable where I am at, not because of my abilities, but more due to the turmoil and the seemingly thousands of decisions that have to be made every moment of every day.

Teaching was never easy, but the discord that is where it is, with students being gone, then showing up, and students not doing work, but then turning things in late and wanting grades, and the multiple levels of abilities (I am not talking little gaps, I am talking about canyons) all in one setting...how did students get to high school and either not know how to read or comprehend basic texts?

I get not understanding or believing in some authors' intents concerning themes, imageries, or symbols - I've often thought the whole hullaballoo over Gatsby's stuff was makeshift and silly, but to not even be able to see it to argue against it?  It seems as though students today (the bulk) have no frames of reference.  It's partially my fault, because being older, I have different things to reference, but even when I was younger, I knew things that were from well before my time.  I perused dictionaries, World Books, and other encyclopedias for information and fun.  Now, it seems, kids are not inquisitive in the least and are simply fed things they then take as their own ideas.  There's no 'formation' of ideas, it just is because they saw it on their phones.

I can't fathom it and I have no idea how to combat it.  I realize now it's not as much that I look back with regret or fear or dismay, but it's the forward that has me in a quandary.  I truly feel like I am on a ledge and the only direction is dismal.

Man, oh, man...

It's the Push and Pull.