The Fight or Flight Feeling

I certainly have that flight feeling again.  

Not only do I miss traveling and living abroad, but I just find it difficult to put down roots.  It would be easier if I knew how to date, but those days are long gone.  I wouldn't know where to start, and I have nothing to offer.  I'm kind of okay with that; or at least I have been resigned to that for a while.  I dated a few times in Korea and that was nice, though the last girl I dated died of cancer.  

When I was in China, I met a lady about 3 weeks *after I told them I was leaving.  So, I meet her, she's one of the few nice people I met in China that was willing to have a conversation, and she *wanted to hang out, show me places, have dinner, etc, and I meet her after I tell them I am leaving in 2 months.  Had I met her in my first 2 months, I think my time in Beijing would have gone far differently.  I still talk with her via WeChat, and I wonder where that might have gone.

And not that I want anything to do with Beijing again, but Chengdu does make me wonder.  I think I would do it, but gawd damn if it wasn't an absolute pain in the ass sending money home.  And the internet!  Especially when the CCP had their high mucky muck meetings every October.  They'd close down all the 'massage' parlors, make it so the VPNs didn't work, and basically isolate you for a few weeks.  What a pain in the ass.  I didn't care about the massage places, though a friend found them fascinating and often just wanted to walk past them.  I had zero interest.  Not from a moral standpoint, but why would you do something that is deemed illegal (yet allowed to go on) when you're a foreigner in a communist country?  That's just asking for a re-enacting of Midnight Express.

All I know is right now I am in mid-fight, and I am getting stronger, but I am most certainly looking at that flight part.  Not a lot of time left on the planet, and still haven't seen nearly enough of it.