Ups and Downs
It's kind of tough preparing lessons for every grade.
And with 4 different schools, it just adds to the shifting. I am lucky in that I really love my students. Today was a day that made me smile. My smallest school has some great students, both because they try hard even if they aren't so good, and because many of them are really smart!
I've already been contemplating leaving at the end of my contract, which was something I didn't think I would consider so soon. I was hoping to enthusiastically want to be here for another year or two. It's just been a pretty tough first two months with the whole adjustment. I didn't think it would be so tough having been in Korea before.
The difficulty, however, doesn't really lie in the adjustment, but in the location. It is so far from anything, and their seems to be no community here. The grocery selection is very limited, with a very limited choice of fruits and vegetables. And I am not a church goer so that is kind of out. And everyone at the school save for a couple people leave the island on Friday. So there's basically nothing.
I couldn't meet anyone here, same sex or otherwise, if I wanted to. So as my co-teacher suggested to "find a pretty lady", which would be great, I'd have to travel to Mokpo, Gwangju, Daejeon, Seoul, or who knows where. But I don't know anyone, I'm not part of any particular community, so it's truly solo. It's just very difficult in that regard.
And I guess I don't even mind that, having been single again now for about 4 years, I just quit looking. It's not like it's going to happen anyway. But to have to get grilled about it by co-teachers or people you don't even know. Then they begin to assume things. Whatever.
Perhaps that's the reason things have been a bit darker for me recently. I feel like I am in a funk I cannot shake.
And with 4 different schools, it just adds to the shifting. I am lucky in that I really love my students. Today was a day that made me smile. My smallest school has some great students, both because they try hard even if they aren't so good, and because many of them are really smart!
I've already been contemplating leaving at the end of my contract, which was something I didn't think I would consider so soon. I was hoping to enthusiastically want to be here for another year or two. It's just been a pretty tough first two months with the whole adjustment. I didn't think it would be so tough having been in Korea before.
The difficulty, however, doesn't really lie in the adjustment, but in the location. It is so far from anything, and their seems to be no community here. The grocery selection is very limited, with a very limited choice of fruits and vegetables. And I am not a church goer so that is kind of out. And everyone at the school save for a couple people leave the island on Friday. So there's basically nothing.
I couldn't meet anyone here, same sex or otherwise, if I wanted to. So as my co-teacher suggested to "find a pretty lady", which would be great, I'd have to travel to Mokpo, Gwangju, Daejeon, Seoul, or who knows where. But I don't know anyone, I'm not part of any particular community, so it's truly solo. It's just very difficult in that regard.
And I guess I don't even mind that, having been single again now for about 4 years, I just quit looking. It's not like it's going to happen anyway. But to have to get grilled about it by co-teachers or people you don't even know. Then they begin to assume things. Whatever.
Perhaps that's the reason things have been a bit darker for me recently. I feel like I am in a funk I cannot shake.
It is the simplest of things that
fracture you, exhausted eventually
Like water washing over rock and
anticipating,
you feel it
Knowing you were wrong
about so much of which
you were so sure
Love, not hate, is that way
On occasion slow, at times fast
but you forever damaged,
taken in the wave and
broken in a beautiful way
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